stagnate

This has just been a suck ass day. No other word for it. I feel like I'm getting really sick, which sucks because its almost my birthday. Today I'm just really down in the dumps and I can't get anything good from it-- just negative thoughts, which has made my day even worse, because I get frusterated with myself for not being able to be positive. I just feel so stationary. Like I'm not doing ANYTHING with my life, and everyone else is blaze ahead at 90 mph. I know its not fair or productive to compare myself to other people, but MAN. I can't stop. Everyone is succeeding, and I just am not.

Bleh, like I say, only negatives tonight. I'm sorry. Reminds me of in Love Actually when Alan Rickman gives Emma Thompson the Joni Mitchell CD he got that she thinks is the gold necklace she found in his pocket the week before (breaks my heart every time). He signs the card "Sorry I'm such a grumpy bugger. XOXO"

Sorry I'm such a grumpy bugger.

XOXO.